


The Stages of a Flower

by starrygemi



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dalton Academy, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrygemi/pseuds/starrygemi
Summary: Flowers grow through various stages. Some take longer to get where they are, but some grow quicker. Variation of timing comes from its environment and the nutrients it is handed.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. What is...?

**Author's Note:**

> Is this a bad idea? Yes.  
> Why? Because this concept literally only exists within the anime side of fans. Like there ain't a fic of hanahaki for Glee, and I'm just like, "oh no, I'm gonna be /that/ weirdo that brings a completely foreign concept into a fandom." Haha, anyway, hope this doesn't suck or ends up making myself look like a fool.
> 
> Anyway, um, have fun with whatever this comes out to be.
> 
> Also this loosely, very loosely follows canon. Like, the events are there but may transpire differently.
> 
> This chapter/epilogue is written in a very infomercial way. If you have any questions about anything let me know. (Also, everyone's version of hanahaki is somewhat different, mine probably is mild in comparison.)

_Hanahaki - A disease where one coughs up flowers due to their unrequited feelings for another._

The growth of a flower within one's lungs can take as short as a few seconds, there's no such thing as "as long as" for this disease comes slowly and will start as quickly as your heart desires.

Now; How could this flower grow? Why is it such a tragedy? Will it come with fatality?

These flowers thrive off of unrequited love.

No, this disease thrives off of unrequited love. While some may think it's so common since love is all around, it isn't. The love someone feels for someone who's unreachable, like a celebrity, will never match to the love someone feels for someone just within their reach yet will never be touched.

The disease develops differently for all, but ends the same.

They start as tiny feelings, a brush-able crush or attraction. If they die out, so does the disease. Though, if they grow, it'll take more time to get rid of these flowers without surgery. As your feelings grow, maybe you'll start feeling a tightness in your chest when you subconsciously deem this person as completely untouchable. You can get rid of this plant by trying to push away your feelings, but if you can't and your feelings grow, then you've reached the dangerous point.

When you start genuinely liking this person is when it starts to become a problem that isn't easily erasable.

The flowers your love favors will grow in your lungs, making it difficult to breathe or speak. Eventually, these flowers will bloom and you'll start to cough them up. You'll cough the petals, blood may come up as well, but it's unlikely since the petals will usually be small and silky. Though eventually, your lungs will start needing you to cough the complete bloomed flowers, blood is a certainty at this point. If your love's favorite flower has thorns, then, you're utterly fu—

Breathing becomes difficult as this flower disease develops.

Eventually, you will just give out and die.

However, there are two known cures once you've reached this point of near death.

The first is to get surgery to remove the flower completely. You'll be ridden of any pain and you'll finally be able to take a full breath again, but you'll also be getting rid of any feelings and memories surrounding the person you fell in love with. This method, as of now, is dangerous for it is in the testing phase.

The second is possibly very unlikely, since it only had a handful of documented cases. The second known cure is for your love to state they like you as well. They must genuinely like you in return though, they can't state a simple "I love you," and cure you of your disease. They must genuinely show they love you in return. And seeing as this disease develops because of complete;y believed to be unrequited love, there's not much one can do to go this route in curing themselves.

_Hanahaki; the flower disease. The beautiful, yet deadly disease._


	2. Seeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowers must start somewhere, and they start as these seemingly and mostly helpless seeds that need water and nutrients to thrive on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Begins at “The First Time” 3x05

The seed of attraction planted itself as soon as Sebastian felt his hand on his.

He was speaking to Blaine, casually flirting, at Lima Bean. He wasn't genuinely head over heels for the guy as he showed, but he was interested in getting into the Warbler's legend's pants. Until he mentioned a boyfriend? Well, if he was taking the compliments and flirtations without complaint or resilience, then it just shows he couldn't give two shits about this boyfriend of his.

This infidelity would honestly be on Anderson, and since you only live once...Sebastian would have continued to persist and flirt, to get a taste of what his show choir group considered to be a gift sent from God, that is until an ethereal figure walked in.

If anything, _he_ was a gift sent from God if he had to judge between the runway model ordering coffee or this hobbit across from him. He watched as this angel pranced his way to the counter, but he came to a sudden halt. Sebastian was a bit confused when the boy turned and noticed them. Which led him to practically, though discreetly, make a bee-line to the table.

"...He's really great," Blaine finished, snapping Sebastian back into reality.

"Who's great?" The beautiful boy asked.

"You! We were just talking about you," he smiled, "Sebastian, this is Kurt, my boyfriend, who I was just-"

"Got it," Sebastian spoke with a smirk. Though he questioned how this hobbit could ever touch this beauty.

Kurt glared at him for a moment then shot his hand out for him to shake, "Pleasure. And how do we know Sebastian?"

His mind went on auto-pilot as he replied and held out this conversation.

How the hell did Kurt think Blaine was impressive? He was bland to speak to, or at least to his standards he was. He held a conversation well, a non-interesting conversation, but he held it well nonetheless. He soaked in compliments, but never dished any in reply, which was mildly offensive.

But what was bothering Sebastian more and what was more concerning was the tingling feeling on his hand. Or the tightness in his chest when Kurt slipped his arm around Blaine's.

He brushed it off, "Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?"

"Well, we're rehearsing for the school musical. And then at bedtime we do a rigorous skin regimen over the phone together."

"And as sexy as that sounds, what do you say we shake things up?" This was a bad idea, "I get you guys a couple of fake IDs and we head over to Scandals in West Lima." But bad ideas happen to be his thing.

"Scandals," Blaine started, "That's the gay bar."

"Last time I was there, I met the man of my dreams on the dance floor," he couldn't match up to this boy in front of him though.

"That's so sweet, and are you two still together?"

"Sadly no, we broke up about twenty minutes after we met," he smirked, "C'mon, guys, live a little."

"We would love to," Blaine started, "Thank you for the offer, that's very nice of you, but that just isn't our kind of thing."

"Let's do it," Kurt blurted, a fiery look of determination in his eyes that twisted Sebastian's guts oddly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might post the third chapter later because this feels short but that'd break my plan of how I upload so dunno :/ If I get bored and don't wanna do homework then I shall, anyway .~.


	3. Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've lived. They've planted themselves and made sure that they will last now. All they need is a bit more attention and they'll continue to grow and bloom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: Vague mention of scandals scene

The roots were planted when they decided to meet up at the bar.

Sebastian had gotten the Shirley Temple as a joke for Kurt, and a beer for Blaine. He, himself, took a shot of vodka, but wasn't planning to get anymore to avoid being overly drunk in case Kurt or Blaine needed to get rescued; Because if anything happened to them, it'd be his fault.

The night was uneventful, mostly.

Sure, he grinded up against Blaine and Kurt, mostly Blaine. Since Kurt glared at him any time his hands were on his hips or he tried rutting his ass against Kurt while going in between Klaine. It was a bit unbearable at times, but he wanted to try and get a flame out of Kurt, because if he had a choice or chance; he'd dance with Kurt. Maybe in a more elegant style, but dance with him nonetheless.

Sebastian eventually gave up, and let the pair do their thing and went to the bar. He still kept an eye on them as he took a shot though. He watched as Kurt and Blaine danced silly on the dance floor.

It hurt.

Why did it hurt?

He watched as Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulders, but dropped them to Blaine's hips to steady him. He watched as Kurt lead them elegantly, while still being fun and party-like, around. Though he was inexperienced with clubbing, he looked as though he owned the place. He watched as Blaine leaned in and whispered something then nipped on Kurt's ear, but watched as Kurt pulled back with furrowed brows, but leaned in to softly kiss the other's forehead. He watched as Kurt walked away to the restroom. 

He watched as the door closed softly, and couldn't bother to care about someone being in front of him until they started tugging his hand.

"Sebastian," Blaine slurred, "Kurt left meeee, danceee with meeee," he whined.

"Left you?" He asked, "I'd leave you too if I had the chance."

"You're so funny, Bas," he spoke through giggles, "Kurt said he'll be back in a minute but I'm bored and lonely," his voice became deeper and emphasized as he spoke.

Sebastian stared at him for a moment, then glanced back at the restroom door, then back at Blaine, "Okay, tiger," he spoke with a half-effort smirk as he stood from where he sat.

He followed Blaine's lead to the dance floor. It was a lame routinely pattern as they danced, grind, humped, whatever; Blaine led mostly as Sebastian adjusted to follow along.

Though, their small imperfect and imbalanced dance were thrown off and ended when Kurt tugged on Blaine's hand.

"Blaine, I think it's time to go home," Kurt got in between him and Blaine.

"But, it's so fun here!"

Kurt nodded, "I know, but it's getting late," he readjusted their arm placement, "Come on," and led him out.

"Bye, Sebastian!!" Blaine called out as he walked.

Sebastian would have replied, but Kurt's icy glare he threw stopped him. So, he simply watched them leave in silence.

He left soon after just in time to notice a few things.

Kurt in his car wiping away tears, then driving off. A small figure in the distance laying on the ground, but eventually getting up to walk off.

He didn't know what to take of this so he simply got into his own car and drove off heading back to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story will start up in the next chapter .~.


	4. Growth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They start to grow now. They've started to be able to thrive on their own without needing too much assistance. Though, even if you tend or don't tend to them, they'll grow regardless. They'll pass your expectations and thrive to bloom.

Sebastian sat at one of the tables in the library with Nick and Jeff. They were flirting with each other, though, without recognizing the other was flirting with them. Sebastian rolled his eyes at their latest exchange, but when he saw Jeff blush vibrantly, he immediately remembered a certain brunet's flushed cheeks with a fiery determined gaze.

He dropped the textbook book he was holding, startling the pair across from him.

"Jesus, Sebastian," Nick mumbled.

"Are you okay?" Jeff asked, glancing at the book on the ground.

Sebastian leaned over while muttering a small, "Yep," and picked up the book.

Nick stared at Sebastian, intently, when he sat straight up again. Sebastian did the same and made an unstated staring contest with the other. The small competition made him smirk and lean a bit closer to him.

It lasted a few seconds before Nick blinked and Jeff spoke, "This is weird, what's wrong with you Sebastian? You haven't turned a page for like twenty minutes, and I know you read fast."

"I'm taking notes."

Jeff glanced at the notebook, "That..." his brows furrowed as he picked up the notebook.

Nick peered over, "That figure looks really familiar."

Sebastian snatched back the notebook and was slightly confused to see several sketches of a body without a head, well, the only drawing that had a head was from the back. He doesn't really remember drawing this figure, but his fingers ached, now that he thought about it.

He stared at the notebook, trying to piece together who this was, because the body type was the same throughout, along with their outfit. The body was beautiful, nearly perfect in his eyes.

He glanced at a precise drawing of a hand, and realized it belonged to the only person he knew to have such beautiful hands that could carve its way into his subconscious.

"It's no one," Sebastian whispered as he got up.

"Wait, Sebastian—"

He didn't hear anything as he walked. All he heard as he walked out of the library were the angel's voice, Blaine's, and rave music.

He didn't feel anything when Jeff grabbed his arm. All he felt was a twist in his gut, a hollowness in his chest, and the lack of air as he breathed.

He stared emptily at the door knob in front of him, “I’m going back to the dorms…” He spoke, barely above a whisper as he exited the library.

———

He never actually made it to the dorms.

Jeff and Nick were overwhelmingly worried for their friend. Friend? Maybe? kinda? They were worried for their classmate, even though they barely knew him, whatever happened in the library was too out of character even for Sebastian. Even if he was having a rough day, they knew he’d be more brash or snappy rather than shut off and quiet. It just didn’t feel right.

They eventually found Sebastian around midnight. They were walking past one of the glass windows that led to the communal garden, and found him sat near the daffodils and across from the pansies.

Nick left Jeff to handle him and offered to wait for them to return near the door. Jeff was the better person to speak to Sebastian, because between Nick and Jeff, the latter was closer to Sebastian; which wasn’t much of an accomplishment since the French boy was generally closed off.

Jeff stepped out of the building, and was immediately engulfed in the cold air. He glanced around once more, sucking up the courage to trudge through the thin layer of snow to reach the boy.

He was a few feet from him when he decided to let him know he was there, “Sebas…” Though, he was cut off by how terrible Sebastian looked.

There wasn’t anything he could pinpoint that would make Jeff believe he wasn’t alright. There was just a vibe or feeling within that made him presume Sebastian isn’t okay. Sure, it could have been the way his nose and cheeks were tinted red, or how his fingertips were white leading to bright pink, or how he faintly looked as though he were shivering. But deep down, there was something else that Jeff couldn’t figure out at the time.

“Sebastian,” Jeff whispered, taking a step closer.

He flinched slightly, which made the blond more concerned. Sebastian covered up his initial shock and glared at him, “What do you want?” His voice was slightly shaky and hoarse.

“Are you okay? It’s almost midnight,” he shuffled the snow beneath him, “How long...How long have you been out here?”

“And how is this any of your concern?” He plucked a daffodil aggressively, only to then throw it on the ground.

“You haven’t been...yourself...for a few weeks now.”

“You barely know me.” He stood and was about to make his turn to leave.

Jeff reached and grabbed his hand, “Yet, I still care about you,” Sebastian’s hand felt like ice against his, he would have withdrawn from how startling it was, “And if you don’t want to talk about it, fine. Just trust me to be here when you do. I don’t want you to lose yourself or to lose you generally because you shut yourself off to be buried under your thoughts.”

Sebastian stared at him with a brow raised. He glared for a few moments before taking a seat again. He rubbed his hands together as Jeff sat down, "Could you...tell me more about Kurt?"

———

Fascination.

That was a feeling Sebastian felt towards Kurt among several other complex unidentifiable emotions.

He was fascinated with how Kurt could have done the Celine Dion medley without break, in French, or how gorgeous he looked in that cheerleader uniform. He was fascinated with how, even though he never received a solo in a competition thus far, he still shined far brighter than anyone else on that stage. He was fascinated with how outlandish he dressed, yet, it still was fitting and beautiful, and probably unappreciated in this town.

This fascination has led to...something unfamiliar, as he scrolled through Kurt’s facebook and vague instagram.

This feeling was odd.

All he knew was he wanted to know more about this boy.

A yearning to speak to this boy and get to know him directly. He wanted to befriend him? To know his favorite movie, musical, foods, and flowers. Or what makes him smile and laugh, when he gets upset or just needs a pick-me-up. He wanted to be closer to him. For what reason, unidentifiable for now, but all Sebastian knew was he felt an attraction to him.

———

The flutter of excitement Sebastian felt when he saw the familiar tuff of brown hair. He was beaming as he approached the table.

“Hey, guys!” His smile wavered upon the sight of Kurt rolling his eyes, he quickly covered over the twinge of pain, “It's so crazy. I'm sitting over there checking out this guy and all of a sudden I'm, like, ‘Wait a second I know that hair’,“ he kept it vague. Who’s hair was he speaking of? Who knows, implications would state Blaine, but the only thing he saw was Kurt, “What are you guys up to?” He subtly peered at the paper Kurt was writing on.

He flipped over his application paper, “Discussing matters concerning the Glee club.”

“We've been really busy with it,” Blaine continued.

“Practicing for Sectionals...together,” Kurt glanced with a look of adoration at Blaine.

Sebastian felt the familiar tightness in his chest. It felt claustrophobic, almost. It hurt a bit to look at Blaine, but even glancing at Kurt made him want to throw up.

“Um,” Blaine started, “Congrats on the Warbler win at your sectionals! We're up this week,” he spoke with a polite grin.

“Yeah. Well, hey, if there's one guy that can whip New Directions into a legitimate threat, it's Blaine Anderson, right?”

“Right,” he twiddled with his cup, “I need another coffee,” he muttered as he stood to leave.

There were a few moments of silence when Sebastian brought his gaze to Kurt’s glasz eyes. He never got a chance to see them in natural lighting until now, so he never got the chance to fully appreciate just how stunning they were.

Sebastian softly bit his lip before deciding to speak, his voice was small as he spoke, ““Listen, Kurt, I—”

“I don’t like you,” Kurt, while he didn’t mean to, cut him off.

He not only cut off Sebastian’s speech declaring that he’d like to start over, try to be friends? Try to thaw and calm this pain in his chest at every glance and thought of Kurt.

He had also, unintentionally, cut Sebastian’s last, last sliver of hope for several things.

He could have reacted sooner, but Kurt’s small declaration of his feelings had stunned him. What felt like hours and time stopping, genuinely were just barely two seconds.

He felt like the world had stopped. All that echoed in his head were the words of “I don’t like you.” All he felt was something hurting him more than he thought, what was this? What was this pain in his heart now? It was just his chest generally, but now his heart? Why had breathing become so difficult then? He could barely breathe at this point.

Everything hurt when Kurt spoke those words. From his feelings being crushed while simultaneously being recognized as adoration, attraction, infatuation. From how his chest started to ache, more specifically his heart and lungs. From how a headache was building from the warmth traveling to his head, because he was mentally fighting so hard to fight the built up stress of tears.

He pulled on what mask he could find, it happened to be a smirk, “Fun, I don’t like you either.”

“I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend, I don't like your smirky little meerkat face, I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. I'm onto you,” the smile or smirk he adorned really did top off everything and add another ounce of impactful pain to Sebastian.

He kept his expression smirky to portray his egotistical stature, and made sure everything else was hidden as he replied, “Let's get a few things straight—”

“What are you guys talking about?”

Sebastian nearly sighed in relief at Blaine’s presence. He was readily prepared to dish out a set of empty insults in reply to Kurt’s but he was glad he didn’t have to now.

He glanced around quickly to figure out a way to reply to Blaine. His eyes caught onto Kurt’s attire.

“Ah, I was just complimenting Kurt,” he’ll take the opportunity, “Like how the gold bedazzle on his jacket really, truly brings out his absolutely stunning blue eyes,” even if Kurt takes it as mockery, he was glad to have been able to compliment him.

“Thank you, Sebastian,” he spoke with a polite smile and a pinch of bitterness.

He glanced at his bare wrist, “Well, I gotta run,” he stood while picking up his coffee, “See you later, Kurt…” His eyes were set on the other’s far too long to be reasonable, “...Blaine,” he spoke a farewell to the shorter offhandedly, then took his leave.

———

_“I don’t like you.”_

...

_“I don’t like you.”_

...

_“I don’t like you.”_

…

_But I like you._

_How can I like someone I barely know? And why does it hurt so much?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm rereading this and I'm just like, where the hell was I going with this (i finished this a while ago, so im reading a chapter a day to post so this is another experience, holy heck)


	5. Bloom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're pretty, aren't they? Dangerously beautiful. Bloomed flowers stay open and thrive for a while, until they don’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Dubious consent (it’s very vague, but it’s there), underage excessive drinking

It didn’t take much time for this flower to bloom. Though the first petal fell during one of the Warbler rehearsals.

Sebastian was the lead soloist, followed by Jeff and Nick. He was singing the big part of his solo, just as a tickle came in his throat, then his throat closed off as something came up.

The background acapella stopped as Sebastian started choking and coughing into his hand. 

No one said anything as Sebastian rushed to the trash can. 

He was about to lean over and let whatever vomit come out, but he felt something fall into his hands as the desire to cough dissipated. 

He took a few deep breaths. Though it felt rough to, he still managed to calm his heart and get a steady breathing pattern before he worked up the courage to open his hand.

A pure white daffodil petal laid on his palm.

He was confused as he stared at it. He doesn’t recall eating flowers? So, how..?

He heard soft footsteps approaching him, “Sebastian?” He shoved the petal in his pocket just as Jeff kneeled besides him, “What happened? Are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine,” his voice was hoarse. He slowly stood, “I’ll be right back...restroom and water…”

“We can dismiss practice, I don’t think you’re fit to continue right now,” Nick stated, approaching him.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” he waved them off as he exited the room.

———

_Google search: coughing up flowers_

_Hanahaki - also called the flower disease_

_Overview: A non-contagious disease that stems from the lungs. Hanahaki is the disease that only affects a person who is experiencing or believes they are having unrequited feelings of romance to another person. The most common sign of hanahaki is an aching in your chest and shortness of breath. The more it develops is when the flowers begin to get coughed up. Hanahaki can’t truly be prevented. Medical treatment is unknown._

_Extremely Rare: Fewer than 10,000 worldwide per year._

_Common symptoms of hanahaki; coughing up petals, shortness of breath, aching in chest._

_Fatality Rate: Unsure; Death comes when the flower has fully bloomed and completely blocks out the airways._

———

_“...Hanahaki is the disease that only affects a person who is experiencing or believes they are having unrequited feelings or desires to another person…”_

Sebastian stared at his laptop screen for a while. 

He started laughing in disbelief at some point, which startled his roommate, since his loud cackling quickly morphed into pitiful sobbing. The roommate eventually left to give him privacy, but that was a terrible idea, for bad ideas started flooding his hazed mind. His judgement of what was sensible was nonexistent.

He put away his laptop and changed outfits. 

The liquor at Scandals will have to do to kill this pain that’s arising.

———

This was a terrible idea.

As he consumed more liquor, shot after shot, the more he sees Kurt everywhere. Next to the jukebox, leaning against the wall, sitting at the bar, walking into the restroom, dancing freely and gorgeously, grinding against anyone, walking out of the bar. He sees him everywhere, it’s quite painful.

Though as he takes more shots the ache dissipates, along with his self-awareness.

He sees flashes of what’s going on.

Walking.

Dancing. 

Grinding.

Kissing.

Coughing...

...Petals.

Drinking.

Biting.

Moaning.

Pants.

Zippers.

Dicks. 

Pictures?

Sucking.

Biting.

Orgasms.

Screaming.

Now he was being dragged out of the restroom by a familiar pair of hands. He was dragged outside. He vaguely remembered limping behind the person, they refused to touch him as they neared a car. He heard the back door open, but then quickly close.

“What were you thinking?!” The voice screamed.

“No thinking, just pain,” he whispered, “So much, wanna forget,” he slurred.

“Pain?” The voice wavered, “What could be so bad for you to drink your life away?! God, I’m calling Jeff.”

He blacked out at this point, but he vaguely remembered arms wrapped around him softly cooing and humming soothingly, before being shoved into a car. 

He also remembers, “Don’t tell him it was me, that’ll be hard to explain, and I rather keep our little rivalry as is.”

“But you don’t need to? You and Blaine aren’t..?”

“I know, just don’t tell him it was me. I don’t think he’d like me being his ‘savior’ anyways.”

———

“I love you too,” he spoke. His smile was bright, adorable, full of love. Though his eyes were closed.

Sebastian was thrown off, because he felt happy? Yes, happy. So, so happy...

Until he felt his throat clogging, “You don’t actually,” he choked out.

“What do you mean? Of course, I do,” his eyes finally opened to reveal the same dull expression he held in Sebastian’s presence.

“You’re pretending.”

His brows furrowed, then he huffed in annoyance, “Yes, I am pretending. I wouldn’t want you dead over this, but it’s not like I can love someone like you,” one of his brows raised as he glared at Sebastian as though it wasn’t obvious.

Stress built up as he tried to hold back the tears and petals. 

Then he saw blurs of his surroundings, then red, then black, then...

———

Sebastian woke up in a bed feeling something clogging his throat. 

He couldn’t breath, nor did he remember much from Scandals.

He started coughing. He felt something wet in his hand when something came up. He looked in his hand and saw a few petals soaked in his blood. The sight made him want to throw up, but more blood and petals of now blue pansies sprouted up. 

Blue pansies, while it doesn’t match the perfection that is Kurt’s eyes, still reminded of him. 

He fought the urge to let his tears go, no matter how much he wanted to let them.

———

Petals still sprouted, with blood accompanying them. It became more frequent as time grew on, and wore Sebastian down as winter break hit.

Though the first blossomed flower bloomed during the Warbler winter party. 

It was essentially a Christmas party, but was held a handful of days before the 25th, so the students could still go home in time for the actual holiday.

Sebastian was sitting in one of the armchairs facing the window, alone. He stared out, noticing it was snowing. He softly hummed “Let It Snow” to dull the ache that has become a constant. 

“...Blaine sang this song last year.” 

The song that hummed in the background was “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”

“With who?”

“Dunno, um, Kurt? I think. He was helping Blaine rehearse. Anyway, I was just passing by and heard them and Blaine sounded sooooo…”

Their voices drowned out.

_Of course they’d do cutesy lovey-dovey duets._

Sebastian imagined Kurt and Blaine's voices singing the duet, but it eventually turned into him and Kurt doing the duet together instead. How their voices mixed fine and beautifully. How he made sure, even though this was in his head, that his voice never drowned out Kurt’s, because he deserved for his voice to shine above everyone else’s. He’d give anything to hear him sing a song for him in person.

He felt his breath hitch, “Dammit,” he whispered.

He set down his mug of hot chocolate on the side table and got up. He was on his way to dart out of the room to get rid of this clump of a burden in the hallway but was stopped by Jeff.

“I’ve avoided it for a week now, but I just—I can’t anymore!” Jeff looked like he was verging on tears, “I’m so worried and I didn’t want to bring up what happened at Scandals in case you didn’t want to, but I just can’t not talk about it any—Sebastian, what’s—?” Jeff’s rambling was cut off when he actually brought his gaze to him.

He tried to open his mouth to speak, but he nearly just spat up the plant, so he just covered his mouth with one hand and grabbed Jeff and led him out to the hallway. 

“What’s wrong?”

Sebastian ignored the blond and pulled out a tissue and allowed his body to clear up the clog in his throat. A few daffodil petals came out, more blood than usual, but he wasn’t shocked by it.

“Ohmygod,” the blond screeched as he saw blood, “Are you dying?”

“No, I’m not fucking dying.”

“There’s so much blood…” His eyes were widened in fear, Sebastian noticed he was shivering as well.

“No shit.”

Jeff stepped forward shakily and got a glance of the contents in the tissue before Sebastian had a chance to cover it, “Petals…”

“Yes, they’re daffodils.”

“The flower disease,” he covered his mouth in shock, “That’s so rare…Who..? You like Blaine?”

He wiped the blood from his face and carefully tucked the blood soaked tissue into the zip-lock in his pocket, “No,” he glared at the ground.

“Then who?”

“It was never Blaine,” he rolled his eyes, “It’s, uh, no one.”

“Sebastian, this—” he paused and took a breath to calm himself, “You have to tell me who, you’re reaching a dangerous point.”

_Kurt._

_It’s Kurt._

_Acknowledge it completely. Acknowledge that this boy you have fallen head over heels for may unintentionally be the cause of your death. Even though you barely passed words with him, you’ve still fallen for him._

Like, as shallow as it sounds, he has a gorgeously attractive body. His sculpted figure should be in a museum. For a person to have such a beautiful and perfect form seems unreal. Anyone with eyes should and would fall for someone as gorgeous as he.

He also has the voice of an angel. Higher in pitch, a uniqueness that may come off as annoying or an oddity, though he found it to be fitting. Another special quirk that makes him stand out. He could listen to him speak for days. He’d listen to Kurt talk his ears off even if it’s mostly mild insults.

However, he never sees it directly, he can listen around; Kurt’s compassion and love he passes throughout his glee club is attractive. How he cares for everyone and shares a tiny part of himself to ensure others are fine, while tragic, is admirable. He adores Kurt’s strength to stand up even when he’s been kicked down. 

His mind shifts to his icy glare and “I don’t like you.”

Which reminds him of just how untouchable he is. How unlikely it’ll ever be for him to ever have him return these feelings in time or at all. Or maybe it wasn’t? It really was a minor miscommunication and they only were set on the wrong foot because of some hobbit.

Sebastian felt a sharp pain in his chest along with the urge to vomit. 

He quickly pulled out a fresh tissue and turned away from Jeff to cough into it. This one felt different when it came out.

Blood came out, as usual, but what was surprising was the fully bloomed blue pansy covered in the thin layer of red.

Jeff stepped around and looked in Sebastian’s hands, “No…”

“I’ll be fine,” Sebastian stated, covering the flower then putting it away, “I’ll be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not, for the life of me, write what happened at Scandals (also, it isn't very important. The scene was used to show Sebastian just wanting to get rid of the feeling or ignore it by having others around him). The most that happened was Sebastian sucked someone’s dick. 
> 
> Kurt was the one to find Sebastian. He was scrolling through social media and spotted Sebastian in the background of a photo looking a bit unconscious, and decided it’s better to be safe than sorry, and went out to go get him. Yes, it was probably an hour or more drive, but he brushed it down to half. (Nothing explicit was in the photos.)
> 
> Kurt and Blaine broke up a bit after the “I don’t like you scene.” Kurt finally forced himself to reflect on Klaine. He sorted out what happened in the Scandals parking lot and decided & realized that he can’t excuse it as Blaine being drunk, and added up everything else subconsciously bad with the relationship, and decided it was best to just end things. (Side note that’s not really important, in this version Kurt doesn’t give himself to Blaine after the opening night.)


End file.
